Highway to Kale

When I changed the way our family looked at food I started becoming more open minded to new foods.  Not the new food creations (low-fat, low sodium, turkey bacon, ect.)  that the smart and sassy marketers were advertising… but the foods that have been here before me, before my family.  I felt to go forward I needed to look back.  Our human race has survived for hundreds of years without Kraft and Kellogg, right?

Don’t get me wrong- I’m perfectly happy in our technological advanced life of 2013- especially when I update my Facebook and can take pictures with my phone!  But when I emptied my pantry of these “packaged” goods, I freaked out!  What the hell am I going to cook!

That’s around the time I started cyber stalking everydaypaleo, theclothesmakethegirl, nomnompaleo, marksdailyapple, and paleoparents.  They had weird ingredients (coconut EVERYTHING).  Weird cuts of meat (marrow?  really?).  Weird cooking techniques (a-sous-vide a-what?).

I got overwhelmed.  But, this confusion is what lead to me down the Highway to Kale!!!

I know kale is intimidating.  I get it.  I thought I was eating kale for three months when a gal posted a picture on facebook saying she thought she was eating kale and turned out she was eating mustard greens… hahahahaaa… wait.  That looks like the kale I’ve been eating.  Crap.

This is Kale:

Kale is sexy

*thank you Juice Generation for the awesome picture… if ever in New York- Im coming over!

I haven’t found kale off base.. so you’ll have to go to the dreaded commiscary for it, but go- get you some kale!  Here’s a few fun and yummy things to do with your new bestie: kale…

Blueberry Kale Salad

  • 1 bunch of kale
  • 1 lemon- juiced
  • blueberries
  • cooked bacon
  • 3 T pine nuts
  • 2 T EVOO
  • 1T Strawberry Balsamic Vinegar
  • 1/2 t poppy seeds
  • salt and pepper

My inspiration was this beautiful picture I had seen on Pinetrest.  I followed the link and adjusted the recipe to and paleo-tized it!!!

  1. Dice your kale into small bites, removing the stem.
  2. Place in a bowl and cover with lemon juice.  Now wring that kales neck!  Massage the crap out of it!  Let it sit and get comfy.
  3. Brown your pine nuts and then let them cool.
  4. Fry up your bacon, drain and let them cool.
  5. Make your dressing: mix EVOO, vinegar, poppy seeds, salt and pepper like its going out of style (hopefully with twerking).
  6. Add blueberries, pine nuts, bacon and dressing to your salad.  Stir.  Refrigerate or not.  Eat and be happy.
Blueberry Kale Salad

Blueberry Kale Salad

I did another variation of this salad exchanging the blueberries for mango and the pine nuts for toasted macadamia nuts.  BOMB!

Mango Kale Salad

Mango Kale Salad

The day before the first day of kindergarten I ran to the BX to purchase what I could of JYs school supplies.  Yup.  I’m that mom.  On my way to the stationary section, the BX had a “Vitamix” demonstration going on.  JY asked if she could watch.  We watched were mesmerized.  We stood for 20 minutes as the gal shoved: spinach, pineapple, raw honey, apple, and the kitchen sink into her Vitamix.  The gal spoke about the nutritional benefits of beginning a child’s day with fruits and veggies as opposed to anything else (I liked how PC she was).  She gave an example of a study where children around the age of 5 (JYs age) where half of the kids were given a “green smoothie” for breakfast and the other half a “traditional breakfast”; both groups went outside to play for an hour.  When the children came back inside every child was offered the choice of an apple or a bag of chips.  She had exact numbers, which I didn’t write down, but bottom line was: out of both groups of kids, the kids who had the smoothie were more likely to choose the apple.  Her point was that children know, instinctively, what their body needs.

Of course there’s a whole bunch of angles we could take to rip apart this so called study but I liked where she was going with it.  I didn’t buy a Vitamix (yet), but I did try to recreate her smoothie:

Smooth as Kale

  • 1 c water
  • 1/2 bunch kale- stems removed
  • 1 apple-core removed
  • 1 can of crushed pineapple
  • 1/2 c ice
it's easy being green!

it’s easy being green!

I used a Ninja.  I loved it.  MC drank 1/2 of his, JR drank all of his, and JY took 3 sips.  I don’t see this replacing my kids breakfast, but it sure beats a capri-sun!!!

Lastly… the “kale chip”.  The word “chip”, to me, signifies the ability to hold or scoop salsa or guacamole.  Kale can not do such thing- therefore does not deserve the label of a chip.  I shall call it what it is: a kale crisp!

Kale Crisp

  • 1 bunch of kale
  • bacon fat
  • salt and peppa

Spinderella mix it up one time.  Then bake it (350 degrees) until its golden brown.  Let cool… yes, your children will eat it!  Now give them a lesson on 90s hip hop (I am devastated that my son is convinced Lil Wayne says, “Becky look at her…”… devastated).

Tootles-

jess

9 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. playlifeoutloud
    Sep 10, 2013 @ 10:39:45

    your posts are fun to read 🙂 Thanks!

    Reply

  2. Auste
    Sep 10, 2013 @ 12:42:59

    This was my entertainment for the afternoon. Loved it!
    Darin introduced me to kale just before we left Oki ( I love the purple one… Just because :). Guess what?! Kale is one of the most popular veggies in Kenya. Definitely making the mango kale salad!

    Reply

  3. Auste
    Sep 10, 2013 @ 16:55:00

    Let me know when to pick you up 😉

    Reply

  4. Cortney
    Sep 12, 2013 @ 08:56:18

    Maybe a silly question.. but how do you get the bacon fat? Do you trim it off the uncooked bacon? Save the grease? Share! 🙂

    Reply

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